I hope you all have been fabulous. I have been reading some of your blogs today and I have enjoyed them all!
As of tomorrow at approximately 12:00pm I will finally have a break from school! A 3 week break at that...yaay!
School has been keeping me occupied...I really don't have much of a LIFE at the moment, but I just try to take it one day at a time as to not overwhelm myself. However, I have still been extremely stressed out and my face is not hiding it, lol. A few things have happened over the past few weeks. I've been going back and forth with myself wondering whether or not I wanted to post this, but what the hell! I cannot get feedback if I don't share, right?
So my ex-husband calls one night and asks if my son can accompany him and the new wife on a week and a half trip to New York. Now, my first response was "no". My son has never been out of state without me, let alone with his father for more than 3 days. I know the new wife has family in New York, but they rarely go there and I am wondering how does my son factor in... so my nosey ass asks "what are you going to NY for?". He mumbles "[wifey's name here]'s mom is having a baby shower. So a few minutes pass and I ask "Is your wife pregnant?" Again, he mumbles giving me a muffled "yeah". So I keep digging and find out she's 6 months pregnant. Okay...congratulations to them...and that is exactly what I told him and I also did not fail to throw my .02 cents in by telling him how unnecessary it was for him to hide it from me. I really feel he causes tension for no reason.
FFWD>> About a week later I reconsidered and let my son go with them. He had a blast...yaay for him!
The issue, however, is, when I got off the phone that night, and the next morning, I felt SO hurt! I could not figure out WHY I felt this way. Believe me when I say I am over him...and that's why I was stumped. Why should I care that he has another child on the way? Well after speaking with a few women, they told me the feeling is normal. And after talking to a man he told me I was still "carrying feelings". I disagree. By the next afternoon I was actually OKAY. I was put off by his answer.
So am I "carrying feelings"? What do you all think???
In other news, I have been dating and I think...scratch that, I know I'm overly critical of people. I don't want to settle for less, but even if I have a few good dates with a person when they're not around I beging analyzing EVERYTHING about them. I know it's a tactic I use to keep myself from getting hurt, but I am the one hurting myself. *sigh* I see so many people around me getting divorced and getting cheated on left and right...it's really ridiculous.
So with all of my school work, hurt, and overanalyzing...I began to feel a little down and I needed a little pick-me-up. Usually I will write a poem (which I cannot bring myself to do for some reason) or talk it out. Fresh out of ideas, today I decided to have my own little photo shoot. Corny yeah, but hey whatever works. And for the record, I feel so much better!!! Thanks for reading and enjoy the pics.
Oh, and please let me know what you think about the situation with my son's father.
Sabbath Thoughts: My Sabbath Tears
5 weeks ago