Sunday, October 28, 2007

Open Your Eyes...and Ye Shall SEE!

I have asked God more than once to show me what people's motives really are, the last time being early this year. I also pray that my spirit be receptive.

Well, God has never failed me. Unlike a few years ago, I am not confused and stuck trying to figure people out.

Recently, some people from my past have been contacting me all of a sudden. I'm like...wait...what does so and so want? I'm not saying that EVERYONE must have an ulterior motive, but these are people that I have no reason to talk to. My friendship with them didn't end on a sour note either, but each time we went our seperate ways and again there is NO reason for me to converse with them. So, eyebrow raised and phone in hand I check my messages. It's the ol' mundane "Hey M*****, I am just calling to see how you are doing, I haven't talked to you in a while...okay, bye." I blow it off. Two days later here comes someone else leaving a voicemail for me. I can't even remember the last time I talked to this person.

When things like this happen I take a step back and let people reveal themselves. It is so easy to get caught up in the moment when you should take yourself out of the situation and let things pan out. So I did just that. I was thinking (a) these people are idle and decided to call just because, (b) [ulterior motive theory goes here], or (c) this is a test, the devil is trying to distract me.

It's not coincidental that when you are doing what you are supposed to people full of negativity come your way. When I was going through my season of trials and confusion no one was interested in "how I was doing". Now that I can see clearly here comes all of the naysayers and the ooh and ahhers. This has happened time and time again and it is a part of life. When you're down and out you are the last thing on anyone's mind, but when you are BLESSED those same people swarm around you like bees trying to suck up your milk and honey. What do you call them? Um, frenemies. I don't think there's a such thing, but I know they're my enemies. "Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies." Psalm 23:5

If you are ever in doubt of someone's intentions, take a step back and ask God to reveal them to you; you will receive your answer.

Be Blessed.

Monday, October 22, 2007

The Road to Locdom

I have embarked on yet another journey... locdom. I must say this is one of the best decisions I've made in my life. It is not an easy journey and it has taught me so much about myself... including how much more patient I need to be. I have maintained my hair myself from the initial twists until now, with the exception of one visit to a loctician a couple of weeks ago to make sure I was doing everything right. I have no idea if and when I will go back because that's 70 dollarsUS I can keep in my pocket and retwist myself. I wash my hair every week and let it dry in the sun if the weather's nice. If not, I towel dry it. I wash with Jamaican Mango Lime Shampoo and condition with the protein conditioner from the same line. That is pretty much it besides oiling my scalp (burgamot grease) from time to time. I know you shouldn't use any products with oil, but my scalp needs oil! When I retwist I use Jamaican Mango Lime Creme Wax. The shampoo clarifies well so I haven't had a problem with product build-up. Oh, and I spritz my scalp with water in the morning if it's itchy. I have a pretty simple routine I think. I will share some photos of my progress (none from the loctician visit) so far and keep you all posted as I emerge!

Twists: So I did these twists for my 1 year nappyversary and decided to loc with them:


Month 2: Starting to see a LOT of I'm moving right along:

Bantu Knot Out:

That's my progress up til today!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

What's New???

It's been a while since I've been here. I just really don't have that much time to post. So what's new? I have started a technical program (I'm almost halfway finished!) so that I will have more opportunities when I begin looking for a job. Atlanta is getting too busy too fast! People are just pouring in each year by the thousands. Because of this it is getting harder and harder to find a job. The cost of living has skyrocketed also yet the pay has not increased. All of these factors contributed to my decision to finish school while I'm still young.

A year and a half ago I was living a comfortable life while attending college at my own pace...then I got a divorce. At first I thought that was a major setback because I had to transfer colleges AGAIN, move myself and my child, enroll him in preschool, and attempt to finish my own schooling. All of this was dumped in my lap overnight, but everything was sorted out within 2 weeks. That's when I had no faith, I had lost it. I just could not see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Well, I have accomplished all of the aforementioned on my own and enrolled at the university I previously attended to pursue my bachelor's in AA studies. Yes, I am attending two schools right now. It's definitely not easy, but going through the divorce taught me that I can face anything that's put before me. To anyone reading this, just know that you too can achieve anything your heart desires. Just jump into it and don't look back!

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

On the up and up...

I've prayed for a few things that have come to pass and I am SO thankful for new opportunities. They always say "be careful what you pray for" and I am a firm believer that one should not pray in vain. There are two specific things I prayed for in regards to my education, getting accepted into a program at my current college OR the opportunity to return to a college I transferred from. Low and behold I am blessed with both! The Lord works in mysterious ways and I have decided to take on both. The first will allow me to fulfill a short term goal and the latter, a long term goal. This has made me realize that sometimes God wants more for us than we want for ourselves.

I am also launching one of two projects. It's part of another long term goal and I am very excited for it is one of my passions. Busy, busy, busy. I'm just so grateful for the time, talent, and tenacity to fulfill some of my goals. Glory be to God!

Sunday, May 27, 2007

This Too Shall Pass

Certain trials seem neverending! School, work, home, forget SOME, they ALL seem neverending!!! I know I have to let go and let God. I cannot walk into any blessings without God leading me. I must listen to Him and do what it is He wants me too. I must stay focused and push THROUGH all adversity. I know I will be on top in the end because I DO have faith. I'm just ready for a change. The thing that hurts the most is being forced to face the reality that those closest to you can do you in! I never in a million years expected this...NEVER. The one person who told me I could always lean on them...although there's not much leaning on my end...has turned their back on me.

What Lies Beneath

I never expected this from YOU of all people
You are NO different from the rest
Trying to keep me bound

Never knew you had scum and vile tendencies
I'm living out my dreams, crab
Stop trying to pull me down

Does my tenacity bother you
Or is it about control?
Jump when you say jump
Not I, I live in my own mold

I am surprised, but I guess I shouldn't be
You are the one who said “put faith not in man”
And now you’re manifesting it for me
I’m hurt, dismayed, and all of the above
Because you are the one person who showed unconditional love

Everything must come to an end...
I guess
And I guess I'm naïve for expecting you to be better than the rest.

Through all of this there is one comfort...knowing that this too shall pass!

Sunday, April 22, 2007

When it Hits Home

Last night I was informed that my cousins' aunt has been missing since Thursday. According to her co-workers, she left work Thursday morning and according to her husband, she never made it home. Thursday night she did not report to work. It is now Sunday night and, as far as I know, she has not been found. Last night my cousin told me that her aunt's husband was asked to come in to identify a body. I have not heard anything we all sit and wait. My cousins' aunt is like family to me as well. Although I have not seen her in years I still have fond memories of her picking me and my cousins up to visit her and their grandma. She treated me as if I were her niece as well. I am so disturbed because I have not heard anything new today and I just want everything to end on a good note. Lord, please let her be okay. Let her come home, or at least call.

I have no more words right now, I am just speechless.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

My Recent Hiatus

Friday, March 16th, I went to the ER for the worst case of gas I've ever had. LOL, don't laugh it's funny now, but talk about SERIOUS pain. I didn't know what brought it on, but my stomach was huge, full of air, to the point I was barely walking. None of the OTC medications I bought were working and I didn't get a wink of sleep so I went to the ER.

After sitting in the Emergency Room for several hours the doctor tells me I am going to be admitted b/c my hemoglobin is extremely low (around 5). Well this is b/c of a blood disorder that I have so I wasn't surprised I was being admitted. I wouldn't want to go home with a hemoglobin of 5 anyway...that's dangerously low.

Well within 24 hours I'm being told that I may have to have surgery before I am discharged. I'm like WHAT? Now, the surgery has NOTHING to do with the blood disorder so I'm completely shocked. I'm crying by day 7 because they are still saying I will more than likely have to have surgery. There is no way I want to have another surgery. I've had 3 already, but at this point I really didn't have a choice. So I prayed and although I had the surgery everything went well. THANK GOD!

I just got home Thursday so I am recuperating. If I'm not around much don't be surprised, NOT because I am passed out somewhere lol I am actually feeling just fine and want to exercise, but I know it's too soon. I am not sure what the next few weeks will be like though because I know that life goes on and there is so much going on right now that I MUST pick back up and keep moving. I really don't have time to sit around. I just wanted to let you all know why I've been MIA.

Thanks for any concern,

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Out with the Old, In with the New

Once again I am eating late at night, but just one waffle this time. I am so tired, but couldn't go to sleep due to hunger. I have to be up in 3 hours so this post will be short.

2006 was a very challenging year for me, I went through more trials than I care to count. The key word is THROUGH. I AM still standing and I am elated that the new year is finally upon me. I had a revelation 2 weeks ago in the form of a dream. In short, the message was: Bury your past. You can think you have the best of the best and are on top and out of nowhere those things can be taken away from you. We usually look at this as a downfall, but this dream was confirmation that everything that glitters ain't gold and God was preparing me for bigger and better things. In the end of the dream God blessed me and my family tremendously and the only way I got to the blessing was by being obedient and not looking back.

I am loving every minute of life and am thankful for all that I have experienced. It has helped me become the person I am today. 2007 will be a year of achievement, spiritual growth, and prosperity for me. Mark my words.
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