Sunday, June 14, 2009

Pick Me Up

Hello lovelies!

I hope you all have been fabulous. I have been reading some of your blogs today and I have enjoyed them all!

As of tomorrow at approximately 12:00pm I will finally have a break from school! A 3 week break at that...yaay!

School has been keeping me occupied...I really don't have much of a LIFE at the moment, but I just try to take it one day at a time as to not overwhelm myself. However, I have still been extremely stressed out and my face is not hiding it, lol. A few things have happened over the past few weeks. I've been going back and forth with myself wondering whether or not I wanted to post this, but what the hell! I cannot get feedback if I don't share, right?

So my ex-husband calls one night and asks if my son can accompany him and the new wife on a week and a half trip to New York. Now, my first response was "no". My son has never been out of state without me, let alone with his father for more than 3 days. I know the new wife has family in New York, but they rarely go there and I am wondering how does my son factor in... so my nosey ass asks "what are you going to NY for?". He mumbles "[wifey's name here]'s mom is having a baby shower. So a few minutes pass and I ask "Is your wife pregnant?" Again, he mumbles giving me a muffled "yeah". So I keep digging and find out she's 6 months pregnant. Okay...congratulations to them...and that is exactly what I told him and I also did not fail to throw my .02 cents in by telling him how unnecessary it was for him to hide it from me. I really feel he causes tension for no reason.

FFWD>> About a week later I reconsidered and let my son go with them. He had a blast...yaay for him!

The issue, however, is, when I got off the phone that night, and the next morning, I felt SO hurt! I could not figure out WHY I felt this way. Believe me when I say I am over him...and that's why I was stumped. Why should I care that he has another child on the way? Well after speaking with a few women, they told me the feeling is normal. And after talking to a man he told me I was still "carrying feelings". I disagree. By the next afternoon I was actually OKAY. I was put off by his answer.

So am I "carrying feelings"? What do you all think???

In other news, I have been dating and I think...scratch that, I know I'm overly critical of people. I don't want to settle for less, but even if I have a few good dates with a person when they're not around I beging analyzing EVERYTHING about them. I know it's a tactic I use to keep myself from getting hurt, but I am the one hurting myself. *sigh* I see so many people around me getting divorced and getting cheated on left and's really ridiculous.

So with all of my school work, hurt, and overanalyzing...I began to feel a little down and I needed a little pick-me-up. Usually I will write a poem (which I cannot bring myself to do for some reason) or talk it out. Fresh out of ideas, today I decided to have my own little photo shoot. Corny yeah, but hey whatever works. And for the record, I feel so much better!!! Thanks for reading and enjoy the pics.

Oh, and please let me know what you think about the situation with my son's father.



Nana said...

I don't think you're stil carrying feelings. I think it's just a territorial thing. Let me give you an example: 2 days ago, I found out a guy I had a crush on from 14 to 18, is getting married. If I would have wanted, I could have been with him, for years. But I outgrew the childish crush, YET, I felt like ' How can he marry her?!' & then, I turned that into 'How can he be the first to get married?!' Also, it's the whole 'things are final now,' Before, I loved the feeling we had every time we met. We flirted, we looked at eachother afectionately, he joked about us ending up together. I grew up with this guy. It was nice, comforting. It was a door... open. In your case, he's the father of your son. Now that he's having a child with another woman, a door has closed. The bond you had with him is still there... but it is no longer the only 1. You had that over the wife. Now, you've got nothing on her, really. You are equal.

D. said...

Hello My name is Derrick. I read your post, and at the end of the post you ask the question tell me what I think about your son being with his father in NY. Every child should have a father to be around. I believe that you made the right decision to let your son go with his father. I want to invite you to join my blog if you would like to.

Enchantress said...

Thanks Nana and Derrick for the feedback, I really appreciate it!

Enchantress said...

Oh, Derrick...I cannot access your profile, click this link:


Retromus-ik said...

I agree with Nana, it's territorial. And, it's normal too. You feel a certain way, but you acted in another, which is good in my opinion;) At least your son had a blast on his trip! I guess with time the feelings of hurt will subside, or be replaced with a greater acceptance. It's good to be picky by the way, and to be guarded to a certain extent. When the right guy comes along, he will work for your trust!

Yan Tan said...

hey hunn just stopping by showing your blog some love...very interesting..we love it ; )



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