Today I would like to discuss a topic that I usually put on the back burner...dating.
Dating has not been on my "to do" list since 8 or 9 years ago. I have dated off and on over the years, but it often seems to be more work than fun.
I have never been fond of the "go out and get him" tactic. I am one of the people in this world who truly believes things happen when they are supposed to. Now I'm not saying I believe you should sit back and wait on thunder claps and lightning bolts to notify you of Mr. Right's arrival, but I am saying I don't see the benefit it trying to sniff out Mr. Right on a daily basis. It seems people continuously overlook him when using this method.
A dating suggestion I have heard about is dating 3-4 men simultaneously. According to Cindy Lu, author of The Four Man Plan, "date four men at a time while trying to find the man of your dreams". This seems a little backwards to me because I do not see how one can really get to know one man while talking to 3 other men at the same time. Although I cannot see the benefits I will not knock it until I try it; and that leads to my next point.
Have you ever noticed several people being interested in you...at the same time? Life is funny...well, at least mine is. I go through dry spells of 0 interested men and then out of nowhere several are trying to get my attention. It's easy to weed out the ones I have absolutely no interest in, but when there are more than 2 remaining, things get really complicated, really fast! Factor in the time of the year e.g. winter and that adds to the confusion. The next thing you know you are questioning intentions because everyone wants to be boo'd up♥ when it's cold outside. Right?
So I have 4 potential suitors...hold on, let me check my math...ha, I'm kidding. Let me give a brief description of each.
1. Met him through his cousin, very nice young man, respectable, driven, educated, has very strong religious views, no children
2. Nice guy who has showed interest for a while, never took him seriously, jealous tendencies, hard worker, has children
3.An old friend, admirable, educated, accomplished, respectful, we grew apart i.e. LIFE, but now seem to have the same life interests, no children
4. Guy from high school, very sweet, limited conversational skills, satisfied with his life/career, no children
The first man I am crossing off the list is #4. He does not communicate effectively at all. He works constantly and admits he does not have much of a life outside of work. Additionally he wishes to retire from his current job...40 years from now and has no desire to further his education. As I stated, he is VERY sweet, but sweet words can only go so far.
So now I'm down to three. #1 sparks my interest, I am enjoying getting to know him, #2 makes me feel like I'm talking to a "homeboy", he's just a cool person who keeps me laughing, but I have not gotten to the point where I take him seriously...maybe with time; and ohthose"jokes" he throws out that I view as masked truths. Finally, #3 provides comfort because he is familiar to me, but we both have changed over the years. I'm trying to get to know him all over again.
I will keep you all updated on what happens. :)
So, how do you feel about dating more than one person at a time? Share your experiences!
...I am amazed at the trials and tribulations I have been brought through. When obstacles jump in the middle of the road I get somewhat flustered and then I formulate a strategy to get around it. Once I arrive at my desired destination I usually don't look back. It's on to the next thing. I believe this is what makes me a strong person. Sometimes, however, it is beneficial to look at where we have come from and what we have come through.
In light of Thanksgiving, I am reflecting on all that I am thankful for.
First and foremost I am thankful for having a personal relationship with God. He has never failed me. He is always available no matter the time of day.
I am thankful for my mother. She has never abandoned me. When I did not know what I wanted to do with my life she stood by my side every step of the way. Each and every time I needed to come home, she did not hesitate to provide shelter. She is my number one motivator. The list of things she has done and continues to do for me is endless.
I am thankful for my son. In five years he has taught me a lot about life and about myself. He is the epitome of unconditional love. He is blind to my shortcomings and seems to understand me when no one else does. I am thankful for each hug and kiss he gives me. He has shown me just how big the small things in life really are.
I am thankful for my health. I am still here, breathing, living, thinking, and seeing. I have all of my senses. I am able to enjoy God's sunrise every morning. I am able to do for myself...walk, talk, communicate, bathe, and feed myself. Many times I have questioned God regarding my illness (blood disorder), but have come to realize that God makes no mistakes. Going through the things I have been through has shown me just how much I can endure. I am thankful for mental and emotional stability. We often ostracize individuals with mental illnesses. It only takes one traumatic event to lead to mental illness. That is my belief. I am sure we have all been through traumatic events in our lives. Things as "normal" as broken relationships. We have gotten through them by some means, but everyone does not have the support system we may have had. Everyone is not as resilient as me or you. So I am thankful for the ability to adapt and cope with certain situations.
I am thankful for my family. There has been a lot of unspoken animosity, hurt, and pain. However, they are the family I was given and I love each and every one of my family members for who they are. I pray that our relationship(s) will continue to strengthen.
I am thankful for all of the prayers that I've prayed that have been answered. I am thankful for the ability to type and share this post. I pray that it will help someone, somewhere.
I wish all of you a wonderful Thanksgiving full of thanks and positiveness!
Do you know someone who relates everything, I mean everything, to themselves? Tyra Banks has done her fair share of it on her show.
You know the excessive "oh yeah, that happened to me..." or "oh, I'm like that too..." statements.
I believe most individuals have walked the fine line of confidence and arrogance at some point...
and then it wore off.
When it comes to narcissists, however, it never wears off.
There is this guy who lived in my neighborhood and went to elementary school with me. We'll call him Bryan. He was pretty quiet back then and although he was in my class and our mothers were friends we never talked to each other. Let's just say we both were shy kids. Years have passed and he is definitely not that same little boy.
He has come out of his shell...so much so it took me a while to get used to the new Bryan.
He is intelligent, driven, confident, and fun. All good traits...but over time our conversations became less about catching up and more about him.
There was the phone call about hanging out with me...I suggested we do lunch and he suggested I cook him lunch.
There was the phone call after 11:00pm where he asked what time my son went to bed. He then proceeded to tell me one of his friends let her son stay up too late and he was trying to have a conversation with her, but the child is still up running around. I am wondering WHY he is telling ME.
I started to cringe when my phone would ring.
His narcissism shows even more (apparently that is possible) on Facebook.
His status updates are along the lines of "I'm in Puerto Rico having the time of my life, don't worry I'll have fun for y'all!"
"I am traveling from coast to coast this summer. I'm so glad I was banking money before the recession hit!"
I would have to say that is not nearly as annoying as him commenting on OTHER people's statuses and making it about himself.
I have told him he is arrogant and he just laughed...I mean it is not like he can deny it.
These traits quickly overshadow the positive ones (intelligent, driven, etc.) and it is draining to be in the presence of someone who can't get enough of themselves.
**I would not be surprised if Bryan reads this (HI!). If by chance you do...remember that humility goes a long way.
I gave Mobile Blogging via SMS a trial run a few moments ago and am not pleased with the result. Unfortunately, if the post is lengthy it will not be seamless.
Longer messages are broken up into several short messages which post to the blog as separate posts. I am not completely knocking this method of blogging...you can always type a sentence or two, but who wants to read that? Then there's blogging via a mobile browser; I'll try that next.
Well it's the beginning of another week. I hope everyone had an enjoyable weekend.
After many months of me saying I would put my hair into some kind of updo, I finally did. I only used about 5 bobby pins. They don't hold my locs well because they are thick and too heavy for those little pins.
The solution: I tied my locs together. What do I mean? Well I twisted them around one another to form the rows and at the end of each row I took the last loc in my hand and grabbed a random one from the middle of my head and tied the two together, like the first step in tying shoe laces. I hope that makes sense! lol Well, here are the pics...
I know it's been a while since my last post, but lawd I've been BUSY! I'm happy to report that I've passed my classes and am moving on to Med/Surg II and Leadership!!!I have also been loc'd for 2 years as of September 3rd! That kind of slipped past me lol.
So, last post I said I wanted to go to a loctician, but I have NOT. I do not have the $$$ to do that, lol. I just finished coloring and twisting my hair again (pics below) and I'm sitting here trying to think of a style besides a ponytail. I will figure something out and post pics tomorrow. I have been catching up on your blogs...and I will continue reading. Talk to you soon!BLESS
I have added a few songs to my blog and I hope you enjoy them. I will add more eventually, but for now Imeem only allows 30 second previews for most of the songs on their site.
I'm sitting here twisting my hair...well I'm supposed to be, but as you can see I have paused to blog, lol. It has been more than 2 months since my last retwist. I am thinking about going to a loctician the next time because I don't have much time to twist my hair right now. Also, I want to do something different to my locks...like a new updo that will last all week.
In other news: Mobile Blogging
Have any of you tried to blog from your mobile phone? Not through a browser, but using SMS? I added my mobile number to Blogger a while ago because I was considering using the service, but have yet to try it. Some days interesting things happen, but by the time I blog on the weekend I totally forget about the post. I figured this would be a good solution and allow me to blog more frequently. I also would like to know if you can save your post as a draft or can you only do that if you are using a mobile browser? Let me know if you use or have tried mobile blogging and whether or not you would recommend it.
As you all have seen in previous photos, one of my favorite loc styles is CURLS. I have always achieved this style by putting my hair into bantu knots and then wearing a bantu knot-out.
As my locs have gotten longer I've been wanting more of a "spiral" look. I have read several posts on blogger and nappturality stating that the best way to achieve this look is to use pipe cleaners.
I had been planning on picking some up, but had pushed it to the bottom of my list of things to do. Well, a couple of weeks ago I was strolling through Family Dollar and spotted some for 1.00 so I had to go ahead and buy some.
You can use whatever products you normally use to style your locs. Also, be sure your locs are wet before you curl them and let them fully dry before you take the pipe cleaners out.
Here is a tutorial:
Mine are various colors so it may be easier to see... Here's how I wrapped mine:
Here is the result:
The curls are kind of tight, I personally like my hair better as the curls fall; and that's exactly what happened as the days went on...
5:00pm It was a sunny day and I was laying across my bed with the curtains drawn watching television. I happened to flip to CNN and saw a banner across the bottom of the screen stating Michael Jackson had collapsed earlier at his home, was in cardiac arrest and had been transported to a Los Angeles hospital.
I thought to myself "wow...cardiac arrest...but he's so young..."
I followed it up with "he'll be okay" and flipped the channel to what I was previously watching.
Within five minutes every program was interrupted with this breaking news. I sensed something horrid about the report. I began to focus on what was NOT being said. I wondered why there was no comment that CPR had been effective and the King of Pop was recovering. Surely, they would report that ASAP. I began to add the time up in my head...almost an hour had passed since he collapsed in his home. As an EMT I know the chances of surviving a cardiac arrest of nearly an hour are slim to none.
My phone begins to ring and I answer it. I say "hello" and on the other end I hear a deep voice respond with "Michael Jackson died..."I asked in disbelief "really?" and my friend responds with "Yes, he was DOA". I said "oh, that's messed up" and end the conversation.
Now I cannot digest what has just been said to me. I do not believe it whatsoever. I am flipping between CNN and the local news and all I see and hear is "Michael Jackson in cardiac arrest".
I pause on the local news channel when I see the fancy graphics that spell out BREAKING NEWS seemingly coming out of the television. The news anchor comes on teary-eyed and she reports that Michael Jackson has indeed died.
I flip back to CNN and see the network has not updated his status. Even without the major networks confirming, the denial slowly begins to fade. However, I am still in shock. How? Why? It all seemed so sudden. Time continues to pass and I decide to give the television a rest.
I tune in to the radio and all I hear is Michael Jackson's voice...song after song. People are calling in sharing their accounts of watching the King of Pop while growing up. One woman called in and during her story she begins to cry...then I begin to cry.
That is when I realized Michael Jackson was more than an entertainer to us...much more. This was a man accepted by people from every race and culture.
I remember watching the video premiere of Bad back in the 80s. Me, my cousins, family, and friends gathered around the t.v. at a neighbor's house that night as if a movie was coming on. When the video began to play we were taking it all in, but by the first chorus we lit up. You could just feel the energy in the room...in other households.
Not many people have the ability to captivate audiences like Michael Jackson did, and still does, and that is why he is one of a kind.Michael Jackson you are a true legend and we salute you.
I have enjoyed reading your blogs this week. Keep the posts coming, all of you are very interesting and unique and I love that!
As you all know my break has ended and I must say I thoroughly enjoyed it. I did not travel out of the state, but I relearned how invaluable close friendships and familial relationships are. So what did I do? I went to a few parks and fed geese and catfish, visited a very close friend who I had not seen in over a year, took my son to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and enjoyed a spectacular laser and fireworks show for the 4th of July.
As I get older I am realizing how much I enjoy traveling and seeing new things, but I also appreciate local outings and a relaxing break from all of the hustle and bustle. And let me tell you, there is nothing better than continuous laughter with childhood friends. It takes you back to the time in your life when you were oblivious to adult responsibility.
I hope you all had a niceFourthofJulyorCanadaDay. :)
Thank you to all of my followers and readers. It's now back to school for me so I will be on a short hiatus. I hope to have a new post/update published by next Saturday. In the meantime, I will be catching up on your blogs :)
I hope you all have been fabulous. I have been reading some of your blogs today and I have enjoyed them all!
As of tomorrow at approximately 12:00pm I will finally have a break from school! A 3 week break at that...yaay!
School has been keeping me occupied...I really don't have much of a LIFE at the moment, but I just try to take it one day at a time as to not overwhelm myself. However, I have still been extremely stressed out and my face is not hiding it, lol. A few things have happened over the past few weeks. I've been going back and forth with myself wondering whether or not I wanted to post this, but what the hell! I cannot get feedback if I don't share, right?
So my ex-husband calls one night and asks if my son can accompany him and the new wife on a week and a half trip to New York. Now, my first response was "no". My son has never been out of state without me, let alone with his father for more than 3 days. I know the new wife has family in New York, but they rarely go there and I am wondering how does my son factor in... so my nosey ass asks "what are you going to NY for?". He mumbles "[wifey's name here]'s mom is having a baby shower. So a few minutes pass and I ask "Is your wife pregnant?" Again, he mumbles giving me a muffled "yeah". So I keep digging and find out she's 6 months pregnant. Okay...congratulations to them...and that is exactly what I told him and I also did not fail to throw my .02 cents in by telling him how unnecessary it was for him to hide it from me. I really feel he causes tension for no reason.
FFWD>> About a week later I reconsidered and let my son go with them. He had a blast...yaay for him!
The issue, however, is, when I got off the phone that night, and the next morning, I felt SO hurt! I could not figure out WHY I felt this way. Believe me when I say I am over him...and that's why I was stumped. Why should I care that he has another child on the way? Well after speaking with a few women, they told me the feeling is normal. And after talking to a man he told me I was still "carrying feelings". I disagree. By the next afternoon I was actually OKAY. I was put off by his answer.
So am I "carrying feelings"? What do you all think???
In other news, I have been dating and I think...scratch that, I know I'm overly critical of people. I don't want to settle for less, but even if I have a few good dates with a person when they're not around I beging analyzing EVERYTHING about them. I know it's a tactic I use to keep myself from getting hurt, but I am the one hurting myself. *sigh* I see so many people around me getting divorced and getting cheated on left and right...it's really ridiculous.
So with all of my school work, hurt, and overanalyzing...I began to feel a little down and I needed a little pick-me-up. Usually I will write a poem (which I cannot bring myself to do for some reason) or talk it out. Fresh out of ideas, today I decided to have my own little photo shoot. Corny yeah, but hey whatever works. And for the record, I feel so much better!!! Thanks for reading and enjoy the pics.
Oh, and please let me know what you think about the situation with my son's father.
What's up people? How was everyone's Memorial Day Weekend?
Mine was like any other weekend, just one day longer. Unfortunately it rained the entire weekend so I didn't go to Atlanta Peach Carnival...there's always next year though. I hope you all enjoyed your holiday weekend.
I washed my hair today and decided to take a pic. Then I was looking at the last pic I took and decided to compare the two. The first was taken Nov. 30, 2008 and the other today (May 25, 2009). I know I will be wearing my hair up this entire week, but I cannot think of a style. I am tired of ponytails and wanted to do something other than the french braid. Any suggestions??? Isn't it crazy that I actually have time to spare today and cannot think what to do with it, lol.
I am going to look for loc style ideas, but in the meantime here is a video I found for curling shorter locs. Enjoy!
1) Do it today. 2) Tomorrow will be today tomorrow. Hello readers,
So, I've made it through another week of school. It's already midterm point...for the first quarter; things are moving right along. I would update more frequently, but I virtually have no life! lol Although I'm doing well in my classes, I have an issue with procrastination. OMG, I would like to nip this in the bud now, but I just can't seem to.All week I'm in class and when you factor in the commute my days are pretty full. I get up before dawn, make it home around 3:30 or 4:00, eat dinner, read over material, and go to bed. The weekend is an entirely different story. My Saturdays go something like this:
~Wake up ~Eat breakfast ~Check e-mail ~Facebook ~Think to self *I have a lot of time to study today* ~Think about what a peaceful day it is ~Contemplate watching a movie ~Listen to music online (to help me study) ~Listen to every related song suggested (imeem) ~Check Facebook again ~Check a couple of messageboards ~Catch up on blogs :) ~Fix lunch ~Clean the house (this allows for a more conducive study environment right?) ~Check online sites one more time ~Turn on the radio ~Eat Dinner ~Think about how exhausted I am ~Go to bed ~Repeat on Sunday
LOL! So as you see, I accomplish NOTHING on the weekend. It's like I work best under pressure. For instance, I have never been able to type a paper ahead of time. Do any of you procrastinate on a regular basis? How can one break this habit?
As many of you know, today marks United StatesPresident Barack Obama's100th day in office.
First and foremost, I am proud of President Obama for setting a new standard.
With that being said, we have a long road ahead of us. This is just the first 100 days of four years. It is unrealistic to think eight years of damage can be undone in a little over three months. Don't forget to factor in our latest crisis, the swine flu. What will the next 3.75 years bring?Will we see progression?Will families finally feel like they can breathe financially?Will universal healthcare be established?Will our students be EDUCATED as opposed to being taught how to barely pass competency tests?
So many questions, so little time. So readers, what does President Obama's 100th day mean to you?