Blindsided

We have all had those moments where something happens that we did not see coming; whether we weren't paying attention or just did not see any "signs". How do you react though when it has to do with your relationship with your significant other?



Generally, two people in a relationship know when things are not going as well as they should, just as they know when all is well. Well what happens when everything seems to be peachy and then BOOM your significant other reveals that they want to take a step back? Do you say okay, whatever makes you happy? That is the ideal "mature" answer and even though you may manage to utter those words, how much do you really mean it? The way we respond to our significant other is contingent upon how emotionally invested we are.



Unfortunately this happened in my relationship recently. Emotions aside, I can't say it's a bad thing, it may be a blessing in disguise.



Long story short: So everything in my eyes are fine and I was pretty sure he felt the same. We would still spend time together every weekend and 1 or 2 days during the week. He told me he had some things he needed to work on with himself. I cringe at the "it's not you, it's me" explanation, but I can appreciate him not leaving me in the dark. He has still been very supportive of me and hasn't gotten out of character so to speak. So that brings me to my current state: confused and numb.



I honestly felt emotionally drained because I have given a lot throughout this relationship. Then I had several WHY? moments and SICK TO MY STOMACH moments. That is when I realized how much I actually loved him. I have been trying to slowly detach myself because it's really just too much for me; that is, however, easier said than done. I have been focusing on myself, work, school, etcetera, but part of me just cannot completely let go. I have never been this way with others I have dated, the break was always quick and easy. I just can't let go . . .

Blessed

I have been in "my season" for a while now...since the beginning of 2009. Many blessings have been poured down on me and I am grateful for each and every one.

First, it was challenging, but I have graduated from nursing school!!! If I could shout that from a mountaintop, I would! The graduation ceremony is in June and I am looking forward to it. In the meantime, I will be taking boards and looking for a job. I am looking forward to all that the future has to offer. To anyone reading this that needs some encouragement...NEVER GIVE UP ON/LET GO OF...YOUR DREAM! I won't get into exactly how long it took me, but although I am young, I have been trying to accomplish this for quite some time! When your parents or role models tell you "you can be anything and do anything you want" it is TRUE. Just grab hold and don't look back. When roadblocks seem to come out of nowhere...take a detour.

Next, while I was trying to force myself to get back on the dating scene...Mr. Right came along...yeah, like out of nowhere. I can say, however, my eyes were open and I'm glad they were. God has a sense of humor too, and often blesses us when we least expect it. I had prayed for a man with his qualities because the Lord tells us to ASK for what we want. We may not get it WHEN we want it, but it is okay to ask. After I prayed, I continued with my life and had faith that my prayer would be answered.

Finally, I went back to church today...and boy did I miss it. The word was awesome and I had a great time. I am glad I will have more time to worship in the house of the Lord.

I hope all is well with you all. Until my next post, be blessed!

Decisions Part III

So below are the descriptions of three guys I was considering dating:

1. Met him through his cousin, very nice young man, respectable, driven, educated, has very strong religious views, no children

2. Nice guy who has showed interest for a while, never took him seriously, jealous tendencies, hard worker, has children

3. An old friend, admirable, educated, accomplished, respectful, we grew apart i.e. LIFE, but now seem to have the same life interests, no children

The first guy I crossed off of the list is #2...I mean come on...jealous tendencies...NO, not going to entertain that. Like I said in the Decisions...Decisions... post he was a cool guy, but I was not willing to take the risk of getting in too deep with him and his inferiority complex.

Unfortunately #1 & #3 did not really get a chance...hear me out...lol. #1 has great qualities, but is very stern when it comes to his opinions. I can respect someone who stands up for what they believe in, but I am very headstrong myself and I knew we would butt heads regarding values, etc. #3...again, great qualities, but I have learned before to be wary of people from my past...they are there for a reason.

I can say, however, that throughout the short-lived "dating" process, what I like and what I don't like was reconfirmed. And that is a good thing.

Decisions Part II

Here is a video that talks about what I addressed in my last post.

Decisions...Decisions...

Today I would like to discuss a topic that I usually put on the back burner...dating.

Dating has not been on my "to do" list since 8 or 9 years ago. I have dated off and on over the years, but it often seems to be more work than fun.

I have never been fond of the "go out and get him" tactic. I am one of the people in this world who truly believes things happen when they are supposed to. Now I'm not saying I believe you should sit back and wait on thunder claps and lightning bolts to notify you of Mr. Right's arrival, but I am saying I don't see the benefit it trying to sniff out Mr. Right on a daily basis. It seems people continuously overlook him when using this method.

A dating suggestion I have heard about is dating 3-4 men simultaneously. According to Cindy Lu, author of The Four Man Plan, "date four men at a time while trying to find the man of your dreams". This seems a little backwards to me because I do not see how one can really get to know one man while talking to 3 other men at the same time. Although I cannot see the benefits I will not knock it until I try it; and that leads to my next point.

Have you ever noticed several people being interested in you...at the same time? Life is funny...well, at least mine is. I go through dry spells of 0 interested men and then out of nowhere several are trying to get my attention. It's easy to weed out the ones I have absolutely no interest in, but when there are more than 2 remaining, things get really complicated, really fast! Factor in the time of the year e.g. winter and that adds to the confusion. The next thing you know you are questioning intentions because everyone wants to be boo'd up♥ when it's cold outside. Right?

So I have 4 potential suitors...hold on, let me check my math...ha, I'm kidding. Let me give a brief description of each.

1. Met him through his cousin, very nice young man, respectable, driven, educated, has very strong religious views, no children

2. Nice guy who has showed interest for a while, never took him seriously, jealous tendencies, hard worker, has children

3. An old friend, admirable, educated, accomplished, respectful, we grew apart i.e. LIFE, but now seem to have the same life interests, no children

4. Guy from high school, very sweet, limited conversational skills, satisfied with his life/career, no children

The first man I am crossing off the list is #4. He does not communicate effectively at all. He works constantly and admits he does not have much of a life outside of work. Additionally he wishes to retire from his current job...40 years from now and has no desire to further his education. As I stated, he is VERY sweet, but sweet words can only go so far.

So now I'm down to three. #1 sparks my interest, I am enjoying getting to know him, #2 makes me feel like I'm talking to a "homeboy", he's just a cool person who keeps me laughing, but I have not gotten to the point where I take him seriously...maybe with time; and oh those "jokes" he throws out that I view as masked truths. Finally, #3 provides comfort because he is familiar to me, but we both have changed over the years. I'm trying to get to know him all over again.

I will keep you all updated on what happens. :)

So, how do you feel about dating more than one person at a time? Share your experiences!