Saturday, December 26, 2009

Decisions...Decisions...


Today I would like to discuss a topic that I usually put on the back burner...dating.

Dating has not been on my "to do" list since 8 or 9 years ago. I have dated off and on over the years, but it often seems to be more work than fun.

I have never been fond of the "go out and get him" tactic. I am one of the people in this world who truly believes things happen when they are supposed to. Now I'm not saying I believe you should sit back and wait on thunder claps and lightning bolts to notify you of Mr. Right's arrival, but I am saying I don't see the benefit it trying to sniff out Mr. Right on a daily basis. It seems people continuously overlook him when using this method.

A dating suggestion I have heard about is dating 3-4 men simultaneously. According to Cindy Lu, author of The Four Man Plan, "date four men at a time while trying to find the man of your dreams". This seems a little backwards to me because I do not see how one can really get to know one man while talking to 3 other men at the same time. Although I cannot see the benefits I will not knock it until I try it; and that leads to my next point.

Have you ever noticed several people being interested in you...at the same time? Life is funny...well, at least mine is. I go through dry spells of 0 interested men and then out of nowhere several are trying to get my attention. It's easy to weed out the ones I have absolutely no interest in, but when there are more than 2 remaining, things get really complicated, really fast! Factor in the time of the year e.g. winter and that adds to the confusion. The next thing you know you are questioning intentions because everyone wants to be boo'd up when it's cold outside. Right?

So I have 4 potential suitors...hold on, let me check my math...ha, I'm kidding. Let me give a brief description of each.

1. Met him through his cousin, very nice young man, respectable, driven, educated, has very strong religious views, no children

2. Nice guy who has showed interest for a while, never took him seriously, jealous tendencies, hard worker, has children

3. An old friend, admirable, educated, accomplished, respectful, we grew apart i.e. LIFE, but now seem to have the same life interests, no children

4. Guy from high school, very sweet, limited conversational skills, satisfied with his life/career, no children

The first man I am crossing off the list is #4. He does not communicate effectively at all. He works constantly and admits he does not have much of a life outside of work. Additionally he wishes to retire from his current job...40 years from now and has no desire to further his education. As I stated, he is VERY sweet, but sweet words can only go so far.

So now I'm down to three. #1 sparks my interest, I am enjoying getting to know him, #2 makes me feel like I'm talking to a "homeboy", he's just a cool person who keeps me laughing, but I have not gotten to the point where I take him seriously...maybe with time; and oh those "jokes" he throws out that I view as masked truths. Finally, #3 provides comfort because he is familiar to me, but we both have changed over the years. I'm trying to get to know him all over again.

I will keep you all updated on what happens. :)

So, how do you feel about dating more than one person at a time? Share your experiences!




4 comments:

Anonymous said...

If dating doesn't include having sex with them, or leading them to believe a physical thing can happen between you and them, then no there is no problem with dating more than one person. Over the years I have come to realize that the dating game is one big joke. Life should go like this = Tell me what you want, and I tell you what I want, If we cant give each other those things then we shouldn't be involved in any kind of relationship OTHER than friendship

Enchantress said...

Excellent point! Thank you!

Bsquared86/Bsquared0408 said...

I'm in a bit of a dating rut and I was also thinking about dating more than one guy at a time (if i ever get some prospective suitors lol). I don't see anything wrong with it. I think it would be fun!

Enchantress said...

Hey B!

Try it and let me know how things work out for you. :)

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